Failure breeds failure: defeat the vicious cycle

Suppose you have a belief that you are incapable. As you believe in your inability, you are not going to use your inherent abilities to the full in the given task. You have already asked your brain to expect failure. You will take minimal action just to show that you have tried, that too half heartedly without employing your real potential.  The result (failure) is a foregone conclusion and it reinforces your failure-belief system further. No wonder, failure breeds failure. Those who have met with failures for some time will not believe they can produce success and more failures result. 

If you believe you will succeed, you get excited and energized; you will try to use your potential to the best and the outcome will be positive.  Each new success generates more belief and breeds more success. But positive beliefs may not guarantee success all the time. Those who succeed in life do face failures. But the empowering belief system makes one more resilient to face a failure with his resources and defeat it every time to ensure his eventual success. Lincoln who had to face a chain of failures, is a classic example of how positive beliefs enables one to bounce back each time he falls and succeed eventually. Any good political leader will have has this nature.

How can you change your belief system? Do one thing you thought not possible for you. Bring one success and it will make you review your belief system. Say your relationship with your wife is not all that good. You are often screaming at each other and life has turned out to be a hell. Your belief that you cannot have a good relationship is getting reinforced each day and you expect the worst. All that you require is to somehow snap this vicious cycle. You decide you will figure out a way. Resolve not to find fault with anything she does for say, one week and appreciate a good deed.  In a day or two there will be positive vibes in the family. The yells and screams will get replaced with smiles and nice words. By the end of the week your relationship would have improved, and you would experience a new bliss you have never thought previously possible before. These positive empowering experiences will change your former negative belief system and you can build on it with fresh positive results and proceed to have a fruitful and happy life.       

     

Why do we fail?

 Life is what you make it, good or bad, rich or poor, famous or mediocre, happy or unhappy. But in my experience, winning isn't about being rich, or having everything. It's about meeting your own goals, and living whichever way makes you happy. Why the majority  do not succeed? They never know what they want. Without knowing what one wants how can one get it? They do not have specific, time bound goals. Too many goals will have the same effect as having none. Vagueness or general wishes is not going to help. "I want to go up," " I will make a lot of money," " I will win in life……" all these are vague and mostly meaningless statements. 

There are many who set a specific time bound goals or decide what they wants to get precisely but they  never start or take even the first step. Things seem too hard for them and they just remain in their comfort zone. If you are stuck at the first step itself, get moving. The only reason you haven’t acted yet could be that you find it difficult to overcome the inertia, or you do not want to move out of your comfort zones. You could be afraid of failing or you may be thinking what others will think if you fail.  No one has succeeded without failing. If you do not start there may not be any failure but you will never succeed too.  Do not be afraid of what others will say; the only people who matter in your life are your dear ones and they already know you aren't perfect and that even if you fail they will accept you. The sad part is those who do not take that first step or retract after a few steps start believing they never can achieve it and forget about the whole thing. 

There are people who blame others for their failures. Stop blaming yourself or anyone else. If something negative happens or has already happened, life is still in your hands.  Let us not forget this; let us not be overwhelmed by the stress of failure or set-backs.   Do not forget you are not the only person in the world with problems. The pain of failure,  loss and regret is something a lot of people feel daily. There are those who fail due to the lack of a realistic plan. They started in right earnest and went ahead but failed as there was no concrete, realistic plan to lead them to their goal.  They give up after trying hard or when they face a difficult challenge or a temporary setback. Absence of review and corrective actions is will seal your fate.  At the end of a particular period there should be evidences of advancement. 

The absence of mentoring or a quality coach can be detrimental too.  You have to acquire all the necessary skill and knowledge about your goals, update yourself of the latest developments and seek expert advice whenever required. There is no use in looking back and trying to correct yourself; you would have already reached a point of no-return. Failure is only a potential feedback. There is nothing called failure unless you mentally accept it. Everyone fails; those who succeed take it as a feedback, analyse the reasons and take corrective steps. Hear  what the great Edison speaks about failures: Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” ….  When you are ready to quit you may be closer to the success you have been dreaming than you ever was.”  

Succeed with big goals

Success or achievement is our goal of life. Everyone wants success, the best life can offer. No one wants failures, poverty, sickness, wants, mediocrity.  But most of us think that success is destined for only a few. Why a few only succeed and the vast majority are crawling or living in mediocrity? 

        If you believe you can succeed you will and if you think you will fail you are certain to fail. Ask yourself, ‘do I believe I will succeed?’ If your answer is a spontaneous yes, there is no doubt you will be a success. If your answer is no, still you can succeed. You have to bring your mind to believe that you will succeed.

There is nothing magical about the power of belief. Belief generates the power, skill and energy needed to go and win. The majority of the young people who start with a career do not believe they will succeed. And they do not reach the top. Since they do not believe they will succeed, their input is below average and they remain at the bottom of the rungs. But a few march forward with the belief and the how to reach the top is revealed to them by their brain. Strong belief makes it figure out the ways, means and the how to. They take initiatives to climb up the ladder.  When the mind thinks of mediocrity or lowly status, it attracts ways and means to support the belief.

Our mind is a thought factory. It produces thousands of thoughts a day. There are thoughts of success and thoughts of failures. The latter is more prevalent. It is easy for your brain to find out reason why you will not succeed.  It will show you so many alibis.  And you walk into the traps of failure you set for yourself. How to get believing thoughts of success?  Start thinking about success and the reasons for the same. Say to yourself, ‘I will win’, ‘I have the ability’ and ‘I can reach anywhere’. Keep in your mind all your successes, courageous acts, confident encounters, all your strengths. You are in fact better than what you think. Start keeping big goals in front of you. The effort to focus big or small ones are the same. Big ideas and big plans are easier to achieve than mediocre ones as you more inspired to go after the really big goals.        

What are you now?

Many thinkers stress that we make what we are. That we are totally free to grow and develop.
But do we have the same opportunities, the same  IQ, and emotional level?
Does one's early childhood affect one's growth?
French philosopher Rousseau said all are free and equal. Are we that equal?
There are many born blind, crippled, deaf, mute and feeble minded or with the propensities for sicknesses and mental disorders including madness.
A child born in a nation like USA, UK,Germany Norway, Sweden or Australia have millions of times better inopportuneness to develop and grow than one from Somalia, Ethiopia , Bangladesh or India. The latter may not even survive childhood. They will not go to school and will be malnourished and sick.
One's biology, the structure of the grey matter (both inherited)  and early childhood experiences  do affect one's responses and behaviour. Success very much depends on one's EQ and EI which, in turn, are nurtured in the early days of one's life.  If  parents do not love you or if they fight all the time leaving you to fend for yourself, you will not develop like another one who is loved,, accepted and given proper care.  The home environment has a say in determining how you grow, keep your relationships, interact with others and meet life's challenges. Parents and home make your personality, complexes (inferiority, superiority or any other), security or insecurity, emotional stability or instability and decide the patterns of social interaction. The inherited biology (of the grey matter) and home environment draw a clear blue print for your life. As there are billions of permutations and combinations in what one gets though the genes and the types of homes, each individual has a totally different potency to develop and grow or fail.
In an ideal condition, one gets a good physique, an above average or high IQ, good biology and brain structure coupled with well settled, loving parents in a good social set-up. Contrast this with a poor child born with a low IQ in a slum to quarrelling parents!
Think about yourself and see how your lineage and home environment have influenced your life.
Why are most people average or failures? The majority have a poor  IQ, EQ, and SI(social intelligence) and they lack the material means to thrive.  

How many have the persistence like Edison, Colonel Sanders, Henri Ford  or the will of Nelson Mandela, Gandhi or Martin Luther King?
How many can overcome failures like Abraham Lincoln,? How many of us can challenge adversities like Helen Keller?
How many will dare like Mark Ingles (a double amputee who scaled Mount Everest)?
How many of us has the IQ of Albert Einstein?
How many can sing like Jim Reeves or Michael Jackson?
How many can paint like Picasso or Michael Angelo?
How many has the bodily adornments of Elizabeth Taylor, Britney Spears or Brad Pitt?
The great ones seems to be more born than made.
We need not be envious of those who are lucky (they did not ask for it) or lie down licking our wounds. The world is not bothered whether you were born poor or rich, with high or low IQ, in a home of love or strife. It wants you to win; it goes with the winners only. No arguments please. No questions entertained. That is how the game of life is played.
Who wants to know your history? The world does not want to know where you plan to reach.What are you now? That is all what counts. If you don't want to come up that is your problem. There might be some  limits for you but you can, by sheer work, reach at least the top of that limit.