The meaning of
an experience in life depends upon the frame we put around it. You do not even hear
the footsteps on the street while you go to work every day. But if you are
alone in your house at midnight, and if you hear footsteps in the ground floor,
you will become alert or afraid as you fear a thief has entered your house. But
it could be your husband who is coming home late using the spare key he has.
Your reaction depends on your past experiences.
Suppose you
lost your present job. It can be taken in many ways: one can become sad as the source
of income is over. Or you can see it as an opportunity to look for a better job
in a better company. Suppose you planned for a holiday with your entire family.
On the day fixed, you find there is a thunderstorm and there is no way you can
do an outing. You can curse yourself and nature and spend the day tense and angry.
But it can be taken as an opportunity to read a book you have long wanted. You
can use the day for organizing the entire house; clean, put everything in its
place and feel quite happy.
If a friend
does not turn up at the promised hour, you can become tense cursing him for not
keeping his word. You can also get concerned about him. Has an accident happened on his way? Or, you
could think something urgent is keeping him back.
If we look
at a situation in a different point of view, we can change the way we respond
to it. Our past experiences interfere and color the way we perceive an event. If you
failed in an examination, you can become sad or dejected or you can see it as
an opportunity to prepare better to manage a distinction. Any event can be
reframed and turned to your advantage avoiding the undue stress and pain.
Success in life lies in consistently representing experiences in a supporting
or helping ways. Even the worst experience can be reframed or interpreted as
something good.
If a dear
one dies in an accident you may become very sad and feel an over bearing loss.
But there are people who think that his soul has reached the abode of God and
he does not have any more worry or sorrow. They may also think the dead is
always with them guiding and leading. There are blind people who take their affliction
as an opportunity to make use of their sense of touch and hearing to better
advantage. If you lost any one limb all the others become more
efficient and help to make the absence less felt. Nothing is good or bad except
in the way we represent it to ourselves. Our greatest problem can be an opportunity if
we change the patterns of perception.
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