The guy or woman whom you disliked at first sight is prone to become your enemy much more than those whom you liked at first sight. As the latter confirm to your standards and as their features harmonize with the features you love deeply, the chances are that they will remain in your friends or ‘good people’ list. From the people we come across, we make enemies of those whose appearance and features are incongruent with our mental map, and friends of those whose features and criteria are congruent with our maps. The world is as we see it. People behave to us the way we see them. We tend to nourish a grudge and become harsher with those we dislike and they in turn they show their resentment and dislike us. They understand our subconscious attitudes and reciprocate with equally inimical behaviors. We are thus creating our own enemies and friends under the influence of our mental maps.
Instead of complaining about the misbehaviors of others or trying to change them we should, I think, become aware of our mental maps and analyze how we see others. To our surprise we would find that most of those we hold ‘bad’ are not that bad after all. Pluck off the initial impressions from our mind and take them as good people and there will be nothing more to complain against them. We make our world.
Examine how you feel toward each person you meet, your neighbour, subordinate, colleague or superior. Impartially identify whether the first emotional impression (without any objective basis) influences your opinion of him/her. If the answer is yes you will have to restructure your map and make an assessment from an objective study of the person, his behavior, efficiency, output, usefulness, honesty and integrity. Change you map before you can become a good friend, colleague, neighbor, manager, or supervisor.